Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Ella Experience

Getting pregnant for the third time was definitely a surprise to say the least. In fact, it was the last thing we had planned for. When I started feeling the signs, and saw that little stick with two lines on it, I stayed in denial for about 2 months. I just couldn't believe that our plan could be so dramatically changed. But as the months passed, and I started bonding with the little ballerina inside, I knew that God definitely had big plans for this one.

July 27th, 2006 was a beautiful, scary, and traumatic day for us. Ella was born in the afternoon, but was quickly whisked away from us because she wasn't breathing. It's a scary thing to not be able to see what's going on with your baby, and have to remain in a bed. I thought, "I didn't get excited enough when I found out I was pregnant, why didn't I appreciate what God has given us?". Later we found out that her lungs were not working as they should. She was admitted to the NICU and for the next week, we went through that roller coaster of emotions every parent does when they are helpless to fight for their children. Throughout that week, she was intubated, poked, stuck, and we were unable to hold her for the majority of the time. But I'll never forget when she was taken off the intubator and we got to hold her, oh wait, Baxter was taking his shift up there when that happened and he got to hold her first...but that's okay. She was so small and had all these wires still stuck to her. It was an alien feeling (after all I was supposed to be an expert, I'd already had 2 children) not knowing what to do with this little baby, and being so afraid of losing her.

She finally decided that it was time to come home with us 8 days later. We brought her home and Kayleigh immediately took to her, and Taylor wouldn't even look in her direction. (It's still a little bit that way. They have a love/hate relationship). Ella proves that God's plan is the best plan. She wakes up with a smile for me every single morning. Her giggle is as infectious as it is beautiful to listen to. She looks at you with those mischevious eyes and you know you're about to be chasing her because she has a plan. It's been two years since our week from hell, and I remember thinking when we were going through that "I just wish I could fast forward 3 months ahead and have this all over with". But now looking back, I'm glad that we had to go through the ordeal of emotional tug of war. (and we have reminders every month when we still have to pay her medical bills)

We had to put our trust in God, and God alone, and we came away with our faith strengthened, and a new appreciation for God's plan and for our Ella.

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