neurosis revealed

Why? Why have you been praying for me for several weeks? Well, I found out today that it's because I am a neurotic mess (praise God!). I had a swollen lymph node in my neck at my last Dr. visit and was put on antibiotics to try to reduce it. It became a compulsion of mine to feel the lump and touch the lump and think about the lump and analyze the lump and do internet investigations about the lump. Needless to say that along with all the other exciting news going on in our little world, I was quite preoccupied with my little visitor. It was supposed to go away after the ten day treatment (which ended a week ago). As of today, I can still feel it. My Dr. however cannot (well she can, but only a little). After feeling and kneading, and questioning, her presumption is that I have a tiny swollen node that is a result of a small sinus infection. She said that it indeed has shrunk and that she is not concerned AT ALL, but ordered a CT scan if I wanted one for piece of mind. I'm leaning towards waiting it out, (I have 90 days to get it done)because 1. it's probably an expensive out of pocket test, 2. I want to quit thinking about it, 3. I really don't have time. So, unless it gets really big, or I just get really antsy about it, I'm done worrying about it for now. I called a wonderful friend of mine today after I got the news, and she denies my crazy. She suggested to me that maybe I was healed in the 3 minutes from when I texted her in the waiting area, to when the Dr. came in to see me. Maybe... Maybe.

Keep me in mind will ya? I need to be able to give up worrying for a little while and focus on all the great blessings in my life right now. Enhanced by my fear of leaving them, I have been reminded of how my children are so amazing. Absolutely fill up your lungs with love, smile through the back of your head, amazing.

Now, I'm off to watch Conan. Oh how I've been waiting for this for so long. Watch him!

p.s.
thanks for the prayers!
*In no way am I going to ignore the node and forget it. I have another appt in a month and I will bring it up again then.