Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I've been wanting to write this post for a few weeks. Every time I come to the computer I get distracted. I am never in one place too long these days (unless I am editing photos).

This post is about self reflection. I think back to the person I was 10 years ago(20, and pregnant whoa!) and am just amazed at who I have become. In some ways I am still so much like the shy, reclusive, sugar craving, neurotic that I used to be.

I am still shy. When I meet you, I barely speak. I listen but make almost no comment. I think I am still damaged from growing up in a small town school full of girls who thought they were royalty. (If we went to school together, let me just welcome you, Your Highness. I hope your redneck subjects are treating you well.)
I was always out of my element and I guess I am afraid I still have no place in the clique-esque world we live in. You know what they say though, it's the quiet ones you should worry about. If we hit it off, I never shut up.

I order food now. Seriously ( I know there are others of you out there, so don't judge me). If we would go out anywhere, I would not order through the drive through I would not call and order pizza, and I would almost always make my husband/boyfriend order at restaurants. I'm just a freak. I have no idea how to explain this one. I still feel the hesitancy when it's time to order, but am able to push through it. I think it's just part of growing up.

I try to think if any of my ideas about my faith have changed. I feel closer to God now, and I find it easier to put grace in place of judgement. My desire for a stronger relationship with my savior grows stronger every day. There's so much more, but this is a different post altogether.

I'm much more conservative now. I have always been very conservative, but now I just see so much more hurt and damage in the things of this world. I constantly try to block it out. Becoming a mom, and living a life of ministry are definitely the catalysts for this change.

Music. What in the world is on the radio these days. I couldn't tell you 38 of the top forty songs. I used to know them all. My world today is country,soft rock, classic rock, and contemporary christian music. I have officially become my mother (who actually knows who Gwen Stefani is, so maybe I'm not even as cool as her).

I'm 30lbs lighter. My lifestyle no longer revolves around late night pizza, and ice cream for breakfast. I do alot more working out and a lot less television watching as well. Go me.

What can i say. I'm a butterfly. There is still the hint of who I used to be, but I think I've blossomed for the better. I wonder what I will say about who I am ten years from now. How have you changed in the past ten years?

(Okay, so this was 11 years ago, but close enough!)

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