Gym Etiquette

For many of us who frequent the gym, we know the basic rules of what to do (and not to do) at the gym. Don't forget to wipe down your machine when you're through with it (sweaty swine flu). Don't wear light grey workout pants...(if you don't know, just don't do it). Don't put your mouth on the water fountain spiget (drool, slobber, and cooties). Don't wear perfume, or cologne (gag, and barf, I love the word barf, btw.).

However, I guess there are a few unspoken rules that need to be put out there. I will perform this task with a sense of duty and honor. I have observed these infractions just this week.

1. Do not use a treadmill to stretch (especially if you are wearing spandex). Please do not hike your leg up on the side of the apparatus and lunge. It is very distracting and disconcerting to runners behind and beside you. I almost tripped and slid off the back of my treadmill around mile 4 while trying to avert my eyes. There are stretching machines in the back of the gym for a reason. Use them.

2. While I appreciate the thoughtfulness of you putting on underwear to workout, I would rather not be alerted to the fact that you are wearing a large black thong. Please find some pants that stay up, or a shirt that stays down. You choose. I would rather not have to see that, or the college age guys flagging each other down to point and laugh... Maybe I should have mentioned something to you, but you were two rows up, and I didn't feel like yelling. Just put it away, k? Thanks.

3. I know you think that multitasking is efficient and wonderful, but could you wait fifteen minutes to call your friends on the cell phone? I don't really feel priviledged to know what happened at the kegger two weeks ago, although i do realize the eliptical machine might do wonders for your beer gut. Tell Bubba about it later.

4. Deoderant is a must. Period.

5. If you are waiting for a weight machine, don't hover over me like a vulture. It puts pressure on me (and goodness knows I already feel pressure to hurry and get the heck out of the overly testosterone scented area of the gym). I'll stand up and walk away when I'm done, You'll know

Okay, those are some tips for anyone who might be working out in my general vicinity. Take them to heart, and do them with pride.

p.s. It's not polite to pass gas while in public. (sit up slip ups will be overlooked).

Upgrade

Remember when we decided to finally after five years beautify our house so we could sell it? I got to enjoy the finished product for maybe three weeks before we got out of there. What did we do next? We went out and bought a fixer upper. With our track record, I would have thought our house would be finished up just in time to have everybody over for Kayleigh's graduation party. How excited am I to understand now that we are starting this process now? Guess...

So I currently have a toilet in my guest bedroom. If you want to freak your neighbors out, just sit on it and open the blinds.. It'll definitely get people talking. We are starting small with our guest bathroom. It's a half bath, but boy is Bax turning into Extreme Home Makeover. We are putting ceramic tile in, repainting the walls and ceiling, replacing all the fixtures, and getting a new seat for our toilet (it's wooden. Why would you want to feel like you are sitting on a pew while you are doing your business? But I digress)...We (Baxter) have ripped out the previous flooring, we(Baxter) have removed the toilet (as previously noted), we (Baxter and I)have primed and painted the walls and just need to finish the final coats (which Baxter is doing right now as I type while laying on the couch). Then we will begin the scary task of ceramic. I don't even want to think about it yet. We have his parents coming in a week and a half so it's kind of urgent that they don't have to hang their clothes on the toilet, though I wouldn't put it past his Father to think the new fixture in the guest room a stroke of genius. We are going to get it done!
Next up, we are having our awesome contractor friends over to put in some doors for the dining room and guest room.

If you would like to donate to the crappy carpet fund, let me know. It is what I am looking most forward to doing (these carpets have ten years of pets. What I'm sayin' is, help a sister out.)

*Side Note, there were better images to go along with this post. I just thought this was so disturbing and hilarious that I would share it with the world.