I've been ruminating on some things that I'd like to share (of which I won't go into specifics on, is that a theme here? if you've been in my close circle for a while it shouldn't be hard to figure out, if not, well, just take these words as a big picture focus on forgiveness and healing).
There's no time to hold on to grudges against people that you once loved so much, but hurt you so deeply. When it feels like the end of a friendship it's supposed to hurt. There may have just been a silent goodbye over email, or a big blow up confrontation, or maybe both, but really it doesn't matter. You may be in a constant state of purgatory, wondering if you'll ever speak to them again because you really have been through a lot together and this person crosses your mind at least once a day and you truly miss them. There's no time to feel anger or bitterness over hurtful words and actions. Healing comes with acceptance that things may never be the way they were, and you may never be the same person you were and being okay with that. I know that I will carry the laughter and tears, and heartache and joy that was a part of me for so long with me until I really can let go. I'm not there yet. It's okay to be sad, but it's better to open your arms for a hug, rather than cross them to protect yourself. In the big picture of our infinitely small time on earth, there's no time, like the present.
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