My First Day of "Freedom"

Ella was a suprise blessing for us.  She came just at the point when her older sisters were just starting to become independent, and give old mom a break.  I had to start the midnight feedings, the diapers, and the constant attention all over again.  Needless to say, it was a busy, yet fulfilling time.  I could see a day in the distant future when all my children would go to school during the day, and my house would be quiet again.

Today, it happened.  The girls all got up at an early hour for school (actually they shot out of bed, eagerly anticipating the time to go), and we started the process of getting them ready.  Kayleigh, who considers herself a pro at this by now can do everything herself and just needed some advice on how to fix her hair, accesorize, etc. She was anxious to get back and see all of her friends that she had missed over the summer, and get to the library to pick out some new books. 

Taylor, was excited to pick out an outfit, with multiple accessories, fix her hair, show off her cute shoes to her friends, and see her teacher.  She was eager to see her friends, too, of course and ready to play with them at recess.

Ella was excited about EVERYTHING.  She couldn't wait to meet new people, carry a backpack, have a locker, carry her own tray at lunch, and play games at recess.  She has been watching her sisters talk, complain, and explain everything about school for years, often feeling left out because being home with Mom leaves little room to be cool, I guess.  Earlier this summer she and I were discussing the prospect of her leaving and I teasingly asked her to skip kindergarten and just stay home.  She loves to make everyone happy, so she agreed.  Last night, as I was tucking her into bed, I reminded her of her promise and asked her what she thought.  She smiled at me, looked into my eyes and said "Mommy, you will be okay without me, won't you?" I told her "yes, of course", but as I dropped her off this morning, and returned to my silent house, I thought of all the time I spent thinking and anticipating this day, and realized that maybe I would, but it will be a lot harder than I thought...

Cherish every moment.  Even the difficult ones.

Fall

I promise I won't always wait to update during a solstice change..

My husband and I were talking this weekend and wondering if everyone else's life is this chaotic and maddening. It seems there is never enough time do what should be done. My house is never clean, we order take out with an indecent frequency, and I can't tell you the last time we had a date night. Are these just the years we will look back on and wish we could return to when the girls are all out of the house, or are we rushing through this time in our lives with such a fast pace we won't even remember it? I'm starting to believe that something has to change.

If I were to update you with everything that happened during the summer, it wouldn't seem like much. We had lost teeth, more independence, lots of days at the pool, etc. It was your typical summer. I have enjoyed the few moments I could look around at what I am blessed with. All my daughters will be going into those open school doors this year, and I'm sure not looking back at me who will be taking it harder than I predicted. I thought because I am a little worn out, I would be ready for my last baby to leave the house and go to school, but I don't think it's going to be the case. I will simply miss having someone home to take care of. I want to remember her little voice, how she mispronounces words, and how she still comes and needs a hug when she flings herself off of the back of the couch onto the floor. She still plays with barbies, needs me to help get her dressed, so I still have this for a while.

As for me, you could say that I'm flourishing. I get to work a lot, and I love it. I hope to be full time by next spring. I'm a bit tired these days, but I will use my husband's favorite expression when dealing with a bad situation "it is what it is". I look forward to cooler temperatures and leaving the house and not smacking into a wall of heat. I joined a book club, read two books, and have almost made it there twice. Third times the charm right?

Baxter, as usual, is working too hard, and too much. He has his sense of humor (and my nagging) to keep him afloat. He is feeling better these days with his bimonthly visits to the IV chair. Who would have thought psoriasis would change your life in such a dramatic way. Again, it is what it is.


I hate to sound so down and depressing.  Life is really, really, good.  I thank God for the wonderful life that I am blessed to live.  I love everything that makes me busy.  We laugh every day.  If I had to live like this for the rest of my life, that would be okay with me.  I will bloom where God plants me and prepare for rain while I am in this season.
I usually end my blogs by promising to update soon, but by now I feel your disbelief. I try, I really do.

I will leave you with a collage from summer. :)